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I feel sad that I'm only looking get in a relationship with a girl who fits the exact specifications of what I want.
I'm also trying to not fall in love with the idea of getting a girlfriend rather than the journey and process of getting a girlfriend.
I feel pretty messed up for thinking like this so I've been going to the gym and heading to the library in order to clear my head.
Thankfully I've been relapsing less on porn, so my mind is more free to simply imagine being with a girlfriend rather using porn to ignore my boredom and romantic loneliness.