>>30760027Final score: 3.5/10 as smut, could do with more sex descriptions, but 8.5/10 as romance.
I like the descriptions of both characters, both physically and their state of mind, so good job on that.
Dialogue, however, feels just a tiiiiiny bit forced. Perhaps a good way to really convey feelings behind their words would be more varied description of their actions as they say them ("smiled" is pretty prominent, specially in the last paragraph, and it gets kinda stale.)
Overall, not a bad piece. Good job dragonsis!
>>30761369It does feel like I am focusing on Axelotls a lot more than other fanbases, huh? Gonna have to reign that in a bit. But to clarify my thinking of putting them in the spotlight for this specific piece, it was because out of the four factions, I would make them be the most primal, and as a result, the most spiritual. Norse culture would be a big inspiration for them, after all.
And yea, while the act of burial pyres would be shared between all factions, it would hold different meanings for each of them, with varying afterlives. It should also mention that any and all afterlife talks are purely based on belief, just like real religion. The people wouldn't actually know if there is an afterlife, but they would like to believe it, as people often do.
