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God I wish I woke up next to Zen sleeping peacefully. But it wasn't Zen, it was Emily. I needed to go on a walk to clear my mind. I needed to think. I stared at my scars and pondered. They were all real. If Zen wasn't real, where did they come from? That's why Zen was in prison, right? I felt them, I saw them. They had to be real.
Frustrated at my racing mind, I clench my fists and yell at the ground. "Zen is real! Our love was real dammit! God I love Zen!"
"Uhh, sir?" I hear Zen's voice say. In shock, I look up at the direction of the voice. It's a cashier. In front of me is an array of sandwich components behind plexiglass.
They continue, "s-so your-your choices for bread are wheat, honey oat, Italian..." I raise my hand to signal her to stop. I leave the Subway.
I had to contact Zen somehow. I look up her contact info. I email her. I waited for a response. Minutes felt like hours. I could barely sleep.
After agonizingly waiting for a response for a week with no reply, I DM Zen. Huh? I'm blocked? I try another platform. Blocked again? I show up to her chat. Banned. What the hell is going on? Does Zen not want to talk to me? I need answers. I will have to get her to talk to me somehow.
I loved her more than anything in the world and she wouldn't talk to me. I had to change my approach. I had to track her down. I had to talk to her in person. I needed answers from Zen herself.
