>>77962174Good chapter, even if it's treading water a bit. Necessary I know, and not even bad, I enjoyed every bit. I love the way you write Ame, I think you capture her cadence and attitude very well.
>She mouths something; a message consisting of three words. You don’t dare decode it. Oh yeah, that's the stuff. I like Ririka as well, so her attitude at the end was a bit heartbreaking. Hopefully, she's still around since she's not the kind of person to survive out there, but neither is Aqua. The bunker flashback is well done in general. Great ratcheting of tension and when the breaking point hits, you truly get the sense that the world is over.
I think Botan is alright writing-wise, but maybe a bit too prickly. The history is there but I feel like it could use a bit more unspoken tension. They both care for each other but maybe should be a bit more hesitant to mend their relationship, especially with Aqua around. Botan is both too chummy and too prickly at the same time if that makes sense. Nothing much more from me. Good chapter, looking forward to more.
Question though, what made you decide to put the flashbacks in italics? I'm writing something that goes from past to present but I'm unsure how to quickly communicate that to the reader that diegetic.