>>58597180Though the prose is pretty dry at the start, I liked how it emanates that energy of being chased once
they started running from Fubuki. While I was reading, I was feeling that 'oh shit, oh shit, she's gonna get us' vibe. The descriptions also did a good job of illustrating what is happening, and the dialogue (while wooden in some parts) is pretty alright. I wish there were more Miko-isms though.
My favorite part was when
Fubuki them because Chloe didn't take a shower. Got a chuckle out of me, that one did.
I don't really see that many fics making Cover Corp. out like it's a sort of "X-Com"-ish organization, but I like the idea. Kind of like the X-Files, with the girls sent out to investigate paranormal activity on top of their streaming duties. I think that would be a good setting to explore in the future for you.
Also, maybe you want to practice writing in a prose format rather than greentext. The transition can take a lot of work, but it improves the readability of fics a lot in my opinion.tl;dr the fic's a bit of a slog in the beginning, but otherwise it's alright. Good work!
