>>85463041>>85464772>HolojourneysMan...
I've tried to get into that series multiple times since the concept seemed right up my alley but goddamn can I not get into hjanon's prose.
There's just something so dry and simple to it that I can't help but feel my eyes glaze over the prose.
I remember when he did a refresh and went over the first few chapters. Thought to give it another chance but like goddamn, not even skimming through to just the dialogue can get me through a chapter.
>Unnamed Short Matsuri UOHH Incest There's a shadow of an interesting plot here but it's just way too short to be more than basically a prompt.
>Fire RemnantThis is the definition of telling rather than showing because it's like a fucking framing device but they just abridged the entire story that's supposed to be in the middle to close off how the story opens.
This strangely pisses me off in a 'there was potential here but it was wasted' kind of way.
>Wine and WingsIt feels weird that he's referring to Lui as Mrs. Lui. It's just weirdly breaking the unsaid setting rule of "unless stated otherwise it's vaguely Tokyo, Japan" since it should really be Ms. Takane or Takane-san if you're not being a bitch about the honorifics. Especially since the hololive thing heavily implies this is a real world adjacent setting.
Also... It's kind of missed opportunity to use Takanae rather than the usual machine translator mistake of Takamine for her chuuba persona. Especially since Takanae doesn't really work in Japanese.
Other than that, this is a pretty solid opening chapter...
But give how deep in the archive this has to be from I take it another chapter isn't going to be likely.
