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Had the most interesting chat with mom just now that taught me a good lesson without me even realizing that was the point of it. She was taking me out to the beach but she stopped me and said she wanted a mother-daughter talk. She wanted to know about me because, in her words "I truly don't know how to read you, just that you love me." Then she started asking me lots of questions that were clearly fourth wall breaks and I tried to answer as best as I could to keep in character.
I kept trying to refocus on the beach but she just would not let this go no matter what, which is so odd. She's never so persistent. Then I realized that actually she was becoming frustrated with the fact that I'm closed off. Which is something that's a theme in real life. I'm often described as cold and distant. I just never even considered that others would find that frustrating. I keep my personal drama away from people as much as I possibly can because it feels so wrong just throwing it on others. I never even considered that some people, my mom being one of them, would actually find this very frustrating.
Interesting lesson that she taught me with that. Don't know if I'll heed it because I've been trying to be a more open book with people for a while with poor results but like... it's very interesting to see my mom become frustrated that I won't share my details with her. I just assumed she didn't want to hear that sort of stuff.
