>>48340874OP, it's not weird. Don't beat yourself up about it, no one is a fucking freak for loving their oshi and thinking about this. I've been in a spot similar to you where once a constant stream of happiness and entertainment in my life somehow started to drain me once I started thinking about how insignificant I truly was to them, and how we'll never have any form of meaningful connection.
But that doesn't matter. Don't look at it like that. Say I'm coping, but chances are your oshi does care for you, but they just can't care in the same way a real person can, and you shouldn't care for them as if they were a real person. You need to look at it through a different lens. You can't use chuubas as a substitute for real connections. Even if it makes you feel better for a little while, it'll only hurt more in the end.
And no, I'm not saying don't care for or drop your oshi. I'm not like that other fag parading the idea that if your oshi literally fucking dies you shouldn't care for more than a few hours. Its just that you can't use her as if there's a real, healthy relationship because it will always be one sided if you look at it that way. We show them our support, they provide us with entertainment and good times. There's a connection there, just a different type of connection. I guarantee you even if your oshi doesn't know you on a personal level, she would still wish the best for you and you should feel the same for her.
