>>7364283I'll be honest with ya I've only read chapter 9 and 10 cause sex. It was decent, the humping stuff was a breath of fresh air, don't see it often; though it could have used a humping cumshot before the blowjob, that may be just my fetish. The writing style indicates that you're pretty new to this, but ultimately I don't think it's terrible. Just needed to be longer, I had to jump from chapter to the other roughly 4 times before reaching... ahem... satisfaction. If you were to invest in a shorter series where you can focus more on one part instead of having to jump to the next for the sake of completion, I believe you could pull it off well. Overall, good work.
Don't take it personally, I simply don't read SFW works here. If I wanted to I'd just read a book. 