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Dear v4mirai intern:
Please forward my request to Mono, that i would endeavor to be hired as Monos personal bed warmer. I would utilize my position to lather her body beneath the sheets with my tongue and would french kiss her delicate labia with all the dexterity of a death rolling crocodile. I would also be willing to utilize my mouth to allow her to urinate without leaving said bed. I can also extend this position to work underneath her desk and would consider it an honor and desire to work this position pro bono. I know that i have already been declared her husband, but decided that this request would be less than professional to bring up to the official email. Please note that i also have 4 months experience (in my head) of fornicating with Mono. Thank you.
Respectfully,
Monos Husband AKA 'i wrote this - anon' AKA 'that comment? Me - anon'