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how do you have fun in a stream the way holos do? they're so carefree about the things I've been drilled as a child to be pedantic at, but I feel so related to them that it makes me think if I actually has been suppressing my true self all this time.
do I let loose and go batshit crazy or try to still keep to my values that I don't really dare discount from my identity and stick to my idealistic dreams of "how a chuuba should and could be - a new interpretation of vtubing to revolutionize the scene"?
I want to accomplish that dream but I feel like I'll be hated like early-holo Calli, and if I don't and try to fake it too hard while still failing terribly, I'll be hated too like recent Calli.