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I am officially no longer excited by my oshi's streams. I still watch whenever she goes live, but I'm going through the motions at this point. Our "relationship" might be parasocial and one-sided but it still feels like what people in a normie relationship often seem to go through in the long haul. When you've been "together" for so long that whatever attracted you to your partner in the first place starts to lose its grip on you and you're more and more just getting annoyed by the flaws you used to ignore in your lovey-dovey phase. It feels to me like there's no way out of this hole and I should just call it quits.
P.S. No, I don't have any meds described and even if I had I wouldn't take them.