>>104989575Alright, I read it. A few notes
>if the party was going on for a while why is the alcohol hitting them just then? Just a small nitpick>there's not enough buildup to the sex, you can easily double the word count of this with it>they seem to be rushing through the actions just cuz, they don't really stop at anything>who's leading who? Rara seems to be set up as the one who leads this entire thing but that dynamic is not established that wellBut it's good so far, just needs a bit more polish. Keep it up!
