>>57477094Fair enough. I'll keep that in mind then. I sometimes worry that describing it again would be redundant and feel more like I'm trying to fill pages than tell a story so that's why I didn't go into detail the second time around. I didn't want it to look like I was just filling space.
>I think that's the main part that makes it seem like she's up to something. It's exactly as it looks. She's found an opportunity and she's taking it. That's why she's playing dumb and innocent. She's got a spear who has no idea who she is and wants to see if she can get some info off her before she goes to complete her task.
>It might have been for fitting for Botan to get angry tears and argue about how she would rather take chances with a half baked plan than potentially having to watch anon die via initiation. In the way that I'm writing her (which isn't how you would and like you've said before, you've got a better grasp of Botan than I do), I am trying to make it so that her cards are close to her chest even when she's in the midst of a breakdown like this. That's why I had her stop and turn like she was about to say something, only for her to bite her tongue and walk out. But, as you said, I should've added something extra to really build on that. At the very least, you telling me this ensures that scene is going to happen. Ayame and Anon are going to get a moment too, as well as Fubu. (you) are going to be quite popular next chapter lol.
I get exactly what you're saying but I think it's another example of me already knowing exactly how it is in my head but not elaborating enough to the reader to make it make sense. Because I already know exactly why Botan is behaving this way, but that's only because I can see what's coming. It also doesn't help that I've been a bit neglectful with Botan and Anon's relationship I think.
