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Hi /orc/, I don't usually come here after all that happened, but I watched today's Caspurr stream due to people's reactions to it and, damn.
I thought I had mostly gotten over it, but hearing him apologize for not being able to say goodbye made me cry. I think a part of me envied him (and you all) because it seemed like he and Randon were just able to throw away the past year in memories and do whatever they wanted, never obliged to address anything that happened; while the other boys were saddled with the past and burdened with the ghost of them over every little thing. (and since Axel is my other oshi, this feeling of resentment was probably tripled. That guy loves to bring back old memories whenever he can.) But I think now what I considered a blessing for them may have been more of a curse? The talk changed my perspective, and I guess it did make me feel good that he really did value his time as a Holostar after all.
I don't know if I'll come back to watch him again, but I felt a little bit of closure today. Thanks for reading my faggy wall of text.
