Quoted By:
>be me 3 months before tempus was even announced
>the buzz is there's going to be holostarsEN since male auditions are open
>Get a brainbug about how I'd apply, what I'd say in the interview, what streams I would do if there was going to be a holostarsEN
>try to squash the intrusive thoughts, it's never going to happen, it's just a dumb fantasy
>the itch keeps growing and growing, start getting a streaming set up and assets ready, but keep waffling for a month and a half if I'm actually going to start
>tempus debuts
>oh shit
>start streaming the week after their debut
>Vesper ends up becoming my favourite, subscribe to his channel, the third vtuber channel I've subscribed to despite watching vtubers for years prior
>3 months go by, streaming 4 times a week
>every time vesper positively mentions some old ass game that I like I get a bit more worried about my chances. He's me but way more charismatic and talkative
>start losing hope for my chances since they won't want just another vesper but shitter
>try to record a test audition, bomb so badly I go into a menhera spiral about how bad of an entertainer I am
>give up streaming in February
>9 months go by, all the while I am kicking myself for giving up, but it is too hard to start again and I haven't done anything to address my worries or concerns about my potential as entertainer
>see the news today vesper is officially out the door
Does this mean I have a chance? Probably not, they'll definitely not want another vesper now. Besides, what are the chances I'd ever get permission to stream games like OG x-com: ufo defense, cold war era milsim games, hex based wargames like Shadow Empire and mega-autism simulators like Aurora 4x and Rule the Waves? I'd definitely run afoul of permission hell.
>at least that's what I'm telling myself to cope
