>>21644181>>21644185I feel like I have weirded out Pippa too much already. I really want to get to know her personally and see if we could actually like each other as people, but I fear I have been too forward in my attempts and may have already poisoned the well. I have been fairly generous with her because I wanted to get her attention and it was a really inconsequential amount of money for me, but I think she now sees me as a schizo paypig. It doesn't help that I literally can not stop shitposting and that I am poisoned by irony. If one took all my posts and chats at face value I would come across as mentally ill instead of just an awkward terminally online personality.
I am really just a sad lonely man who is probably projecting too much of myself on a pair of characters and their, more than likely, fabricated background. For all the talk about how based it is living in the country, if you don't have a family it is hard to plug into the social scene and so you end up spending weeks alone without anyone but anons to talk to. I mean I like internet people for the most part, but none of this real and it will never fill the need for human contact.
I fear that I wasted my life trying to escape the conditions in which I was raised. By throwing myself into work I managed to crawl out of my familial circumstance, and achieve a measure of security and independence. However I neglected my chance to form meaningful relationships and I am beginning to think will die alone without ever having made a single friend or starting a family.
Please excuse the cringe, I have Pipkin
