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i felt frozen, i felt the most fear i think i've ever felt, because i went from a place of disgust and fear but also relative comfort knowing where my life would end and i felt okay with it because i felt that i deserved it. then i realized how unready i was to face what lay beyond because i knew it wasn't just going to be a great comforting black void, there would be something else waiting for me, and i realized how little i wanted to find out what it looked like.
