>>84732143As a big lady enthusiast I feel like I have to give your WIP a good lookthrough. I agree with the anon here
>>84750926 , you have a lot of sections that are needlessly detailed, but I'd say it goes beyond "overly detailed" into pointless meandering. The plot feels like it waffles back and forth (especially the section where Ao recalls the previous night) between "big lady" and explaining ReGloss / HoloX. Certainly there's nothing wrong with wanting to explain things and adding worldbuilding for those that are unfamiliar with either group and their characters, but to me, it feels like it distracts far too much from Ao most of the time. I do think you capture the quirks and personalities of the characters in their dialog pretty well.
As far as the "big lady" part of the fic, you are lacking a lot of details and comparison which makes it difficult for me to properly envision just how YUGE she is.
Take the very beginning- starting right with Ao growing out of her trailer and waking up in shock. We don't know HOW big she gets, and you describe her holding the sheet metal of the trailer against her body to cover herself, but you don't give any detail with that either. Is she holding those scraps in her hands like playing cards? Like a large book? Beyond the fact that she's big enough to easily hold these sheets of scrap metal, we get zero sense of scale. (Also given how much you go into worldbuilding about where their campground is you don't ever mention even in passing how big these trailers are). Then you have her talking to various characters, describing how loud she is at that size, how even a whisper is almost deafening, which then gets promptly ignored when she picks up Chloe's trailer and screams at her. Even if your intention is NOT doing this from a fetish angle, you need a lot more detail or description of her size to sell the fact that she's actually big. Consider her current actions and even her current posture in any scene where she's near a bunch of normal sized characters- every slight movement and action is going to affect them in some way, maybe she accidentally knocks someone over shifting her legs around, or she kicks up a bunch of dirt onto someone else raising her hand.
You've got a good start and a little cutting here and there would do a lot of good.
