>>42906137So I got around to reading this, and I couldn't help but feel some whiplash from what I remembered of chapter 1. The grammar compared to the first chapter felt a little clunky in places, but not so much so that I couldn't get the gist of things. I also feel like there is a lot of background information being thrown at the reader in regards to the setting and characters, but I still feel like I'm just making guesses and inferences.
I think your story would benefit more from glossing things up a little scene wise. I also felt like there was a lot of instances where Anon reacts to something in a way where there is some background context to him doing so, but it's not really touched on so far. The scene with Iroha was pretty fun! Dorky samurai doesn't get enough love, so I was pleased to see her included. Overall, I'm enjoying the interactions and the relationships as they get fleshed out and explored. If the scenes themselves can get more color to them, this story can really shine. I also think the angle of a person getting into relationships with servants of gods and such is a cool one. I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes.
