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Shoving uncooked foods that expand when cooked into girls bottom holes and cooking them inside. Like rice or bread dough or pasta. I like to imagine shoving short grain white rice into Ina's butthole until it makes a noticeable belly bump, then giving her a bunch of water to drink and cuddling with her on the couch while she blushes profusely and forces herself to take sips from the liter bottle because she knows I like it. Maybe I can give her a kiss and she'll get nervous and chug half the bottle and turn red as a tomato and cover her face while I massage her bloated gut and listen to the gurgling sounds. In an hour or two the rice will have expanded 3X it's size and Ina probably wouldn't even be able to stand with her weak legs and her belly would feel tight as a drum. I'd just sit on the couch with her on my lap whispering sweet nothing into her ear while caressing her belly and telling her how beautiful it is. Maybe we can do the same thing with bread dough tomorrow and I can poke her belly and watch the indents stay in place and when she gives birth to the loaf it'll look like focaccia.
