>>65138796Glad to hear I'm getting better with each chapter. The list of negatives seems to be going down with each successive one so I'm all too happy to see it.
>B plot comes to an abrupt hualtI re-read it and saw what you mean. I think I should've just bit the bullet and wrote the conclusion. I thought it would've made for too long a chapter so I opted to cut it off before the big plunge. The conclusion is (probably) going to be a bit lengthy.
>keep the perspectives of normal people in mind during some of these scenes.Good point and something I'll keep trying to remember.
>Mio folded to quickI always felt like that was something she'd be more likely to do. Not that she's a doormat or anything, but she always struck me as someone who doesn't usually try to haggle. Did I get the characterization wrong? With the language barrier it can be difficult to divine what they're really like sometimes.
Thanks for the helpful critique as always.
