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He’s been in my life forever. We grew up together, left Peking together, started over in the same country. He’s always looked at me like I was the one. And tonight, I kissed someone I met a few hours ago. A white guy. We’re leaving the party together now, and I saw the look on his face; not anger, just heartbreak. Quiet and heavy. I don’t know why it hurts. I didn’t mean to break anything. I just wanted to feel something new. Something mine. But it feels like I threw away something sacred. Sorry for the rant. Not very girlboss of me. Tonight I begin my emotionally unavailable era.