>>32498340>>32498331To better explain it
>I tried to explain what vtubers were and showed her some Pomu and Rosemi clips on my phone>Said I spent a lot of my time watching them because it was like a proxy way to have friends without having to commit anything>I explained that I watch one vtuber a lot and my daily schedule revolves around her streams since I have nothing else positive going on most days>She asked if I thought those were real friends(obviously not) and questioned stuff like how often they read my comments or how often I gave them money(never to both), probably gauging just how insane I was.>She also asked if I was romantically in love with this character, I didn't answer and just said I don't know.>After that she asked if I just liked vtubers because they were cartoons and explained the thing about children with trauma being more comfortable around characters. She also asked if I liked to play with dolls or if I disassociated by making up fantasy scenarios when stressed to gauge if I had some deep-seated trauma or something.>When I said no she seemed to not know where to take the conversation since I was being less responsive as I felt more self-conscious over opening up and being misunderstood.>She awkwardly in a roundabout way suggested I felt more comfortable with people using proxy avatars because I hated my own appearance so much that I wanted to escape from my body. Probably partially true.>She kinda asked if I'd feel more comfortable if she wore a cartoon mask or if women like her scare me even though I explained that wasn't necessary. At this point I thought she was either teasing me or thought I was genuinely retarded.I don't even have any real trauma I've just been depressed so long all my social skills have atrophied.
>>32498668this is probably correct but i couldn't help but feel like an idiot for oversharing and then feeling like an even bigger idiot since i don't even have any "payoff" trauma she could zero in on to say "aha".
