>>87521421i think its mostly fine. my notes are
>dont specify what's his specializationhis plaque reads like an acme gag. just put therapist/whatever and make fauna/him go something like "i heard you specialize in streamers" or yadda yadda.
>length of the sex scenes.It feels like it goes way too fast,even if they are really hot. Try to add more flair like her stopping and jerking him off a bit, swalloing spit, him enjoying,etc. Perhaps that way you can define more the protagonist from the blank slate he is
also this is personal preference but not enjoying flexible kirinussy with your tongue is sacrilege>the memories.Feel like you went too fast over it? This is also a personal taste thing but if its the first session she shouldnt be able to get her memories instantly or it should put more of a fight to resurface. if you want to make this longer or give a twist you can have Fauna piece together or extract a recorder as she's done for the first time, tell him she has proof and then he snaps his fingers and it turns out she was getting fucked for months
Aside from that, i think its great. dont feel afraid to throw out the kitchen sink and go "the green haired girl", "the pale girl" "the woman" and other similar stuff. As long as its well spaced, the reader doesnt mind.
