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Shondo's illness is a gift, it has helped her gain strength few know of, but at the same time it has been a curse to her mental health and she's at her wits end.
Shondo, you don't have to carry this burden alone, give your life to Jesus and repent of your sins. He will help you through the hurt and He will comfort you, maybe even take it away.
You ended up with these curses because of your ancestors not obeying God's good commands(being Jewish and all), but you were never meant to carry them by yourself. Jesus was always there, ready to carry it and take it from you, you just had to call on His name. It's not too late, repent and ask for forgiveness from Him and your burden will undoubtedly get lighter. You will still be hated, maybe even more so, but you wouldn't be doing anything wrong, you would simply be hated because Jesus Christ was hated.
Have comfort and peace knowing you will enter heaven, not of your own doings, but because of the sacrifice of Jesus which is eternal
Nothing can separate you from the love of God, but you can choose to walk away from Him and to deny Him, which will result in your eternal destination being hell. This is because of sin, which separates your from God and that leads to death.
Love you btw, stop doomscrolling and instead spend time with your Lord and Saviour
