Quoted By:
I've decided to do /vt/ a favor and summarize the entire document so people too lazy to read it will get the gist. Ahem
>I supported you when you got molested. How are you not grateful for that? I'm going to kill myself
>You don't want to do anal? I'm going to cheat on you and then kill myself
>You have dyslexia? Liar. Oh you got an official diagnosis? Well you're retarded and I'm going to kill myself for dating a retard
>You watched a yuri anime? You're gay and I'm going to kill myself
>You're not sucking my dick on command? I'm going to cheat on you and kill myself.
>Marry me or I'm going to kill myself extra hard
>You have friends? I should be your only friend. You hate me so I'm going to kill myself
>Your mom said it's a bad idea for us to join bank accounts? Cut her off or I'm going to kill myself
>You were gone for a half hour to make dinner? You could have been killed by a terrorist! I'm going to fucking kill myself you're so inconsiderate
>Your stove is broken and you asked a roommate to fix it? Even though I'm across the planet right now? You think I'm useless so I'm going to fucking kill myself
>Oh you fixed the stove? So you don't need me after all. Guess I'm killing myself
>You don't want to shoot a gun at a firing range? Guess you're homeless for 2 days now
>Listen babe I'm sorry for kicking you out of the house because you didn't want to shoot a gun at a firing range. But if I didn't kick you out I probably would have killed myself
>You want to keep calls between us private? That means you're ashamed of me. I'm fucking killing myself
>You had a call with me on speaker phone so it wasn't private? Your friend thinks my voice is nice? He's a faggot and I'm killing myself
>You're comfortable enough to call me in the morning before you get dressed and put on makeup? Well don't be. You're ugly and I've married a monster so I'm going to kill myself
>You're going to school so you can get a good job? Guess that means you're planning to move out. I'll kill myself so you can have the house
>I fucking hate my ex-wife. You're a shitty wife too and you make me want to kill myself
Anyone who's read the document can verify this is a 100% legitimate summary
