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I love her, but also can't stomach her at the same time
I love her music, but sometimes I want her to shut the fuck up
I love her streams, but also don't want to see her for more than a second
I find her sexually attractive, but also feel shame and disgust after each nut like I just masturbated to a tranny
I want her to be happy, but also want her to experience all the pain and suffering she is causing me
What do you call this? What am I feeling? Who is she to me? Who am I to her? What's wrong with me? How do I end this duality and live with myself in peace?