>>47751080I know where you're coming from there, champ. I had the same things going around in my head before I got humble. You don't have to destroy yourself, though. Be champ when you want, be your individuated self when you want. Contribute how you can, give what you are comfortable giving, accept what kiki has to give you when you want it, let other people take what kiki has to give when you're full up. You don't have to be "The Best Champ." Maybe you'll stand out sometimes as an individual, maybe you won't, but it all goes into barrel of Champ, and through her love of Champ she loves the individuated (You) as best she's able, and through Champ the individuated (You) loves kiki as best you're able.
It's all very complex and metaphysical, but in the end just remember to be humble ogey? It all works out if you're humble.