Quoted By:
>be me
>walk into my favorite coffee shop
>always full of hipsters writing novels on mcbooks
>wonder what they're writing as I walk past
>prob giving weird vibe staring at each seated novelist
>idc, autistic af
>stare at a hipster wearing suspenders over a button down
>prob writing a blog
>they're all writing blogs
>"why trainspotting is the gilgamesh of the modern era"
>"neckbeard is the new swastika"
>"toxicity in gaming is dangerous, hitler youth recruitment in wow"
>"diddly and our culture’s himpathy, why you only need to hear one side of every issue"
>"pure coffee diet changed my life"
>"vtubers are turning the frogs gay"
>snicker to myself as I walk past. what a box of tools
>there's one girl without a laptop
>she's just rawdogging the cafe ambience
>she's been watching me creep on the other hipsters
>Looking for someone?
>noimjustgettingsomecoffeehahaha
>Oh, I thought you might be who I've been waiting for.
>think to myself, of course she's here for a date. fuck, I wish I could land a date with a girl like her.
>like a sexy business lady and a librarian in one, sharp and businesslike but also cozy and fluffy looking
>imagine sitting across from her and staring at her cute features, god I wish I was her date
>realize I'm staring
>remember that I'm wearing a dirty pair of sweatpants and a wrinkled tee shirt
>did she even say anything or did I imagine that?
>she looks confused
>haHaHa! that's so funny!
>I've confused my daydream with reality
>the short stack girl is looking at me like I'm crazy
>I am crazy. I'm talking out loud like I'm in a conversation
>I bring my hand to my ears as if I have bluetooth pods in my ears and say
>oops I've got to go now, I'm at the coffee shop
>yeah, sure I'll pick you up a coffee too
>what do you want? regular? large? any cream or sugar? ok, see you in ten!
>I make a motion like I'm taking the air pods out and stuffing them in my pocket
>she's still staring at me
>now she's putting a hand over her mouth and laughing
>I pretend not to notice. make a right turn and walk to the counter
>order the mocha I always get, and a large regular coffee
>committed to the fake phone call
>pick up my two cups and head towards the door, but as I'm walking away the cute girl pats the table in front of her
>sit down
>I start to explain that my "friend" is waiting for their cup, but she speaks with such a commanding tone that I nervously sit down across from her
>your aren't the one I was waiting for, but you'll do
>she holds both hands in a steeple in front of her chin and eyes me over the top of her glasses with a cheeky smile
>uh. um. hello
>Shhhh. she puts a finger in front of her lips and pulls a folder out of a bag next to her seat
>without breaking eye contact she takes a sheet of paper from the folder and sets it on top, the places a pen in my hand
>Sign here. she moves my hand to a line at the bottom of the page
>I start to read "This document authorizes the organization heretoafter referred to as..."
>You don't need to read it, just sign. she winks at me. I'm nervous, she's very attractive, it's been years since anyone this pretty has even paid attention to me.
>I start to sign, what's the worst that could happen? someone this pretty surely couldn't do any harm
>is this a marriage contract? I say out loud
>Something like that. her smile is gorgeous
>wait what? you mean...
>Shhhh! she puts a finger in front of her mouth and shushes me again. Not here, we'll talk details somewhere more, private. she winks again
>I sign the paper before I realize it
>O-K! she makes an odd gesture with one hand while putting the paper away with the other. she grabs the pen from my hand as well, I shiver a little when her hand touches mine. so soft.
>Two tall women wearing black pant suits and reflective sunglasses walk into the cafe quickly and stand behind me. Both put their hands on my shoulders and I'm surprised by how strong their grips are, they lift me from my seat and I'm prodded out the door where a black van with tinted windows is waiting, I glance back at the table with both my coffees, the attractive lady smiles and waves at me.
>Good luck!
>I'm still looking back at her with a silly grin on my face as the van door slides shut
