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Ya know, being honest for a moment, I felt like shit a couple minutes and then I realized what a fool I was being. She turned people down on that very last stream. What a siren, right?
This just reminds me I need to work on my own happiness more. See kids, the problem with parasocial relationships is that people actually do not go far enough with them. Their imaginations only take them as far as the holes in their hearts go. You don't think about yourself. You don't think about the other person either frankly. You only have a comfortable fantasy to fall asleep to.
But Me? I'm different. I never planned to make it out alive. I've dreamed of wilder things than a happily married life. I exist on a plane where these kind of petty grudges barely register. My fantasies are as terrible as they are beautiful. I only have lightning that wakes in the dead of night.
So I'll remain a marshmallow.
And as the Canadians say: Don't bend! Ascend!
I'm off to bed.
