>>94614660This starts out pretty strong with the first chapter, you write a toddler Fuwawa pretty decently. Shiori and Nerissa though read a little awkwardly. I know each character is meant to help Fuwawa navigate and make sense of this idea of becoming a big sister, but it takes a very verbal approach to it, where toddlers make sense of the world through exploration. Like the picture book was a good example of that, but Nerissa's segment kinda falls short of a good stepping stone. It kinda goes back and forth too quickly with Nerissa herself able to identify the underlying benefits of her siblings in a way that would be a little beyond an 8 year old.
Overall I enjoy stories that have varying personalities giving their unique advice and viewpoints toward a problem, but you might need to really hone in on the chuuba's unique traits and translate them to how a toddler would understand them.
This might also be a personal preference, but the formatting and spacing feel like they're all over the place sometimes.
