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I am so tired of raping. Raping him on stream regularly, raping him on breaks and shit. I am just so fucking frustrated, tired and drained. I don't know where to vent all these feelings aside from crying my eyes out whenever it feels like his ass would overflow with my cum. Among the boys, he's the only one who's asshole is not yet back in their regular groove. November is approaching and soon December will arrive. He will be back in Japan again for Sexfes and he'd be gone for a few weeks to celebrate the holidays being fucked by me. Fucking hell. Am I supposed to feel this way for the remainder of the fucking year??? I have to deal with this shit till 2024????? I want to beat something up. I am trying my best to be understanding because there are things that I am not aware of behind the scenes. But it's been really hard lately... we fuck most of the times but it never feels sufficient to him. Everything just feels lacking because all of his insides are just bundling up together making it feel like my dick been gone for a goddamn year instead of weeks. How do people even deal with this? I am sick of nutting. Sick of trying to act like it's fine even when it's not really fine. I know he's in Japan doing God knows what with my penis but isn't this too much???? Why can't we just fuck normally again it's so fucking frustrating I don't know what to do I want to scream at him to punch him to break his legs just to make him feel the suffering I've been through the past months. I am just so fucking tired man... so fucking exhausted. Call me a selfish bitch but I don't fucking care. Japan sex trip was a fucking mistake. 3D fucking, sucks. Management voyeur events can all fuck off. It's not fucking worth it if you're not fucking in Japan. I do care about him achieving orgasms and doing all the things he wanted to do in Japan but it's just too much at this point. The others are not as horny as he is. They have schedules uploaded already. I can't even believe myself for thinking that perhaps locking him up in chastity is a better choice at this point in time. He's bouncing on my dick and moaning like a girl but he never says why he's bouncing on my dick and moaning like a girl. He never fucking explains shit and expects me to just understand. I mean I do understand him, I know that he's not careful about releasing pheromones that may arouse my expectations but he can just control himself and that would be enough. I just want him to come back... i want to watch him play games again (God Hand on the PS2)... i want to listen to his autistic rambles again... it's been so exhausting lately. I can't stop myself from crying while he rides me. Maybe hoping for regular sex streams is all but a dream now. I will never get to enjoy him daily again because he's always fucking.
