Quoted By:
I think I just experienced my first panic attack ever in my life. I woke up twenty minutes ago, and literally the first thing I see in my notifications is that tweet. Since I literally just woke up, I completely misinterpreted the fuck out of what she was trying to say. As soon as I read the first sentence and saw how long it was, my breathing got heavier, my eyes started watering. I have tinnitus, so all I kept hearing was ringing in my dark room. The biggest feeling of dread came over me, and I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I wanted to kill my self. Then I saw the rest of the tweets (including the forbidden one) and covers official statement that put me at ease, but I still feel like complete shit even writing this. It genuinely ruined my day and it barely just started. I can’t imagine the day it really happens, and I probably won’t be able to see it live because I’ll be sleeping. I thought I would be strong enough to not let it faze me and completely respect her decision to leave if that’s what she chose, but this just proved me wrong. I’m not ready for this to be over, I don’t want this to be over. Sorry for typing up a novel, but I’m still tense and feel like absolute shit.
