>>30469867Wow, thanks, this is actually fantastic and more than I could have asked for. I appreciate that you pointed out the issue with repetitions (the unintended but not accidental ones) because it is something I do struggle with, especially when I have taken a break from writing for a while. I think ultimately it leads back to having a smaller vocabulary for a couple reasons but more critically, simply not reading enough.
You're a pretty observant guy (I guess you wouldn't be doing this if you weren't) but you picked up on the cues around the seats for example, which you deduced correctly. Harping on and on about seats serves the purpose to sort of prepare both a reader who knows about cars, or one that doesn't, to expect something unusual - after all, those seats are uncomfortable, so they need to serve a purpose, and that's to keep you from sliding around during cornering, when it's most important you have total control of the car.
I'm at the point where I need to look for a new seat myself since my own bucket seats aren't aggressive enough to keep up with the cornering gs the rest of the car can now pull and there's nothing worse than being shoved against the door with your arm fully extended and you need a bit more steering angle but can't get it, but I digress.As far as the "I don't know much about cars" I can see your point, it's sort of finalistic exposition that could be skipped over, but I think looking back, I chose to spell it out because even car guys don't know about the car Sora drives; most people have never seen one, as they only made 300 worldwide - and the contrast here is, it doesn't matter if one knows much or not about cars in general, if you don't know about this one in particular, then you're as clueless as the protagonist.
The bits about Sora give me relief, because that's how I wanted to portray her; she has this aura about her that's a combination of her status but also the respect and adoration the other girls give her. But still she isn't pretentious or high and mighty due to it. I wanted to pass that sort of feeling through in this story - someone who's incredibly skilled, but that doesn't let their success turn her rotten, something that's somewhat rare but equally appreciated in the world of sports (racing especially).
>It's not perverse in this fic, especially since the protagonist seems to become competitive, but there is something not exactly healthy when between a character that's very skilled and another that doesn't have muchThis part left me a bit confused, but I get the gist of what you're trying to say, I think.
>I'll add "being a passenger in a racecar" to the list of things I want to try.Well, depending on where you are (assuming US), here's a couple things you can try; one, most racetracks have companies that run events throughout the year where you can buy a ticket to be driven around in a race car (mostly Nascar tracks, though). Two, look up organizations like NASA or SCCA in the area. Couple of times a year, they run "showcase" events where they will take you for a few laps or a whole session with an instructor or a trusted driver if you're interested in it. You might ride in something interested, or some dinky 1970s Datsun with a roll cage and lots of duct tape but it's fun either way. If you get a kick out of being in a dangerous situation but with total trust in a stranger to not get you both killed that's definitely the way to go.
I rode with my brother once, and even though I'm significantly faster than him, I like my hands firmly in control... thanks very much. 