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You can't put a relationship on hold like that for 9 months. It kills the relationship.
>But I asked nicely
>But he said it was okay
>But I would do it for him
The fact that neither of you REALIZED you can't put a relationship on hold like that doesn't somehow magically mean you CAN put it on hold and not have it die. It just means you're both stupid. If the roles were reversed, you would have ended up doing the same thing as him: getting your relationship sustenance elsewhere when you weren't getting it from him. And I don't care about any stupid arguments about "emotional cheating" either. He was obviously interacting with her to get his relationship sustenance.
tldr you're stupid for killing the relationship, he's stupid for letting you do it, he's a coward for going elsewhere instead of confronting you but you would have done the same thing.