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Doujins aside if you were watching porn and one of the pornstars is implied or explicitly talks about being married to another character the average person isn't going to get pissed off and close the video to look for something else unless they have major relationship issues and it's too close to home. The thing about NTR is often it goes so far past that. NTR is usually at least involving the suffering of someone else, like those JAVs where the guy is fucking his girlfriend's hot sister and the final scene ends with them getting caught and the uglier sister and former girlfriend crying at the side of the bed while they keep going. That's kind of weird, but NTR goes a lot further, especially in longer form media because it becomes really obvious that the Nips who are writing these stories are trying to convey things not where you're some guy that's "badass" enough to steal someone's wife, but the tone, angles, dialogue very heavily wants the viewer/reader to self-insert as the victim of the cheating, and that's the strange part. The more Japanese smut you consume the more difficult it is to avoid this obvious reality.