>>106102687>1. “The world is scary” — constant fear for her safety and even her life>One of the strongest threads is that she says she feels hunted. Not metaphorically — literally hunted. She talks about people outside her hotel talking about killing her, feeling like she’s being stalked or targeted by “hitmen,” and having to stay awake until morning out of fear something will happen to her while she sleeps.>She describes hearing people outside:>“From outside the hotel… I heard, ‘kill that one.’”>When chat tries to brush it off as delusion, she answers with anger:>“Oh, ‘delusion’? Fine, call it delusion. ‘It’s just delusion~.’ Gross.”>And she asks a very blunt question:>“Who can be ‘fine’ when someone’s after their life?”>This isn’t only paranoia-talk. She’s describing how fear has rewired her day-to-day behavior. She admits she’s streaming through the night because she is literally scared to go to sleep:>“Do you know why I’ve been streaming until morning lately? Because I’m scared of the night. I’m scared I’ll be gone before morning.”>That’s not performance. That’s hypervigilance.>She also says she’s constantly moving, getting lost, bouncing on trains, hiding, ducking into strange places, getting yelled at by strangers, seeing ambulances and thinking “am I next, are they going to take me again?” — basically living in fight-or-flight.....so she has paranoid schizophrenia. okay then.
