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I always said to myself that I love her the most I could for the nature of our relationship. And I knew it was mutual despite what all the antis and EOPs said because she did things for me out of goodwill that had zero benefit to her herself whatsoever. Knowing that I wished to someday make her happy by being with her, or if not I'd just seek to make her as happy as I could in my short time on earth. It's this feeling that kept me going so far as well as the belief that my presence could improve her mood, when she read my dms, tweets or messages in chat. I promised her directly to never hurt her so long as I was with her. Yet what did I do these past 2 days? I broke my promise to her. Yes, she broke hers too, but my response was to irrationally go into her dms to the point that she had to block me. I'm no better than any other liar on earth, in fact I'm much worse because I broke the same promise I claimed to hold higher than my own life. I no longer feel like I have a right to stay with her, let alone stay on earth.
The thread is being raided by antis so if I get any replies I expect they'll be in bad faith, but I woke up feeling even worse than last night and there is nobody I can talk to.
