>>75124772I actually like the current one since it's short and sweet, but this is the nonsense I came up with right now. I never write football stuff in English so it's a bit weird. Also I couldn't think of a parody for FIFA so that's work for other anons. Sorry if it's bad or if there's many mistakes. Expanding our "friendly rivalry" with /tsunx/ could be fun too.
The year was 2022. The month, July. VTL1 was just around the corner and you would have to look real hard to find a team more physically inept than /ag/. However, what those ladies lacked in fitness, they made up for in hunger — be it for goals and wins or just all-you-can-eat buffets.
Before they could take the field and crush the competition (quite literally), however, the whole team was pulled from the league before it even started. There were no clear motives for that, but rumors abound. Some gossiped that the players were spiking their Gatorade with illegal substances, but the President of /ag/, known just as The Architect, assured that "all the weight gain powder we use is accepted by FIFA". Forced to play in the minor league of /d/, the team quickly lost motivation, as well as their already diminishing fitness.
But from agony comes victory. A squad putting on (even more) weight and bursting out of their jerseys wouldn't fly on other teams, but that wasn't a negative for /ag/. For 2024, the team didn't forget their stint at /d/, but decided it was time to return to /vt/ with a bang (or an epic button pop).
"We watched and learned with the best. Brazilian, Italian, German... you know, the champions. From BBQ to pasta and all the funny named sausages in between, the girls ate the world's cuisine while we were away. This architecture is leaving the blueprints and becoming real, day by day, pound by pound", declared the Architect, his voice shaken by what appeared to be proud tears. "I have no doubts the next league is going to be one for the history books". 