>>43457716A wedgie? This was a commission...? Quite an unusual request.
Your descriptive prose, mastery of the English language and dialogue are fantastic. It might seem strange, but of particular note to me was the variety of techniques used to represent emphasis. Dialogue continuation, italics, switching from lower case to upper mid-line to indicate a rise in pitch. An abundance of dialogue techniques all used correctly and to welcome effect.
If there's a criticism to be had, it's that I can't really see the point of the story; I did not come away entertained, mystified, angry or sad, merely confused.
I don't suppose you've got a profile somewhere describing your terms for commissions? Assuming you still take them, that is.
