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I will kidnap Shondo.
I have a rough idea and can probably find her precise location if I can cast away my chronic apathy for a few day. I will smuggle her out of UK and lock her into my cabin outside of society, and then restrain her in such a way that she won't be able to hurt herself physically. I will then take away her meds and when she inevitably starts to hallucinate and becomes delusional I'll start to manipulate and indoctrinate her into my thoughts, many of which are contradictory and would probably also be deemed dangerously delusional by most people if I told them to anyone else. Part of this will involve violent rape. Eventually I will either succeed and we'll both be content, or I will fail and I'll kill her and then myself. I would prefer to do it with a gun for both of us, but it will probably be outside the reach of my will, realistically leaving me only with blunt, bladed, or asphyxiating forces.
Killing myself right now would be better for the both of us but I can't bring myself to do it even though exiting out of my window would only take a few seconds and be very likely to kill me as I live on the 8th floor.