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I got it now!
I finally understand!
Selen is amazing. I love her voice. I like her design. Selen is both an awesome individual and amazing streamer.
In fact, if I were a vtuber, I would be kinda similar to Selen with an added benefit of 40k obsession.
BUT, and that's a BIG BUT, I absolutely can't see Selen as someone who I can enjoy. She reminds me of myself too much, and I absolutely hate myself. I don't trust her. My imagination, my brain is literally refusing to accept her as someone who I can be friendly with.
So yeah, fuck you Selen for making me so confused. I will watch you though... If Elira is not streaming that is.