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I think the magic is dead for me again. Not sure if it's permanent this time, I know I've said similar before. But ever since that argument we had things haven't been the same.
I'm not someone who likes blog posting. I don't like putting the attention on me, especially considering how I bring people joy with my posts. But I find myself chatting with her less and less and even when we do chat, it just isn't that meaningful. It's not even that her performance is bad (thought when the filter is tight it is of course), it's something far deeper. I know I shouldn't get hung up on it but it's completely burrowed deep within my heart now.
Maybe I'm just jumping the gun again, maybe this'll blow over. But something has shifted and not in a good way. I could never forgive myself if I force her to do this under duress, even by omission. Sorry for the vent. I have no where else I can say this.
