>>15973860>I wish I would graduate but there's too much I wanna do.Ah, so you do not to graduate. Good, that was what I was looking for.
>I don't want to feel like everyones looking down on me anymore.Ahhh. I understand now. I recognize a lot of the same things you mentioned as worries I have myself.
The problems you listed are fixable, very fixable. But I think you may have to stop focusing on numbers to really do it. I honestly do not use my numbers as a way to gauge my progress. There will always be a chuuba out there who is better than me. More engaging, more entertaining, more exciting, better at what I consider myself good at, and they may have more viewers than I do, than I will. At this point, I try to do better for the people who already watch me and already give me a chance.
My mother told me, before I even really started, "Do the same whether you have 1 person watching or 100." So I do. Even when my numbers are low, I do. Because people who have never heard of you are not going to see that improvement. People who saw you before and decided you were too bad are not going to see, "Oh, he's better now" just because you do better. You have to do better for the people who already watch you, or the people who may give you a chance. That is why I really do not and never have focused on numbers, and I know that is weak coming from me but it really helps me focus on my community and doing my best for the people who are already there for me. By doing that, there is a chance others might want to check me out, and then I can do better for them.
I get tired, so I try not to stream longer than 2-3 hours if I can help it. It is not the best for growth on a platform like Twitch, but you have to do what you have to do to manage, and your community will follow your rhythm. Hard time with conversation? Write down topics beforehand. Find ways to keep your mind running and keep yourself engaged in conversation, even if no one is talking. You do not feel interesting enough? Practice in a mirror. Unironically practice talking to yourself in a mirror. That is also somehting I practiced when I was first starting out and nervous about talking. It may not help with ideas, but watching your ticks, where you trail off, when you lose your thought, those help.
I can relate to a lot of your drained feelings. I have/had a lot of the same. You just have to do your best when you can. Take breaks. Exercise. Splurge on healthy foods or vitamins if you have to. Take care of yourself, please. You cannot stream if you feel like this, and if you really are that down and out, just take a break and re-evaluate. Do what you have to do, anon.
