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I'm so fucked up. I knew what I was getting into and I knew how this would probably end, but I couldn't help it.
I've been through plenty of graduations before, but in all the years I've wasted on this hobby I never fell for anyone like I did for Vesper. Not even close.
I'm broken. I can't bring myself to make a tile for her card or even write a nice message in her discord and I fucking hate myself for it. I'm so fucking useless I can't even eat properly.
I'm glad she didn't just disappear without saying anything, but I don't know if I can recover from this. After 5+ years I might be done. It's stupid but she was one of the few things left that really gave me comfort. Even just having her around now and then was enough to keep me going but I don't have much left.
It's also making me think about a lot of other shit that's fucked in my life and I'm spiraling. Everything feels so hopeless and pointless.
