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I recently purchased a large beanbag chair for myself to play games on in my basement. There has been a persistent cricket issue in my basement that I have not gotten around to addressing yet. While jerking off on said beanbag, I felt something slimy and sort of greasy in my asscrack. I immediately assumed this was some ass sweat from the jerk off session and wrote it off. Well, once I finished the act, I scratched the crevice, and to my surprise, the disfigured body of a still twitching cricket wound up on my hands. I flicked the cricket away swiftly and quickly rid of any cricket residue in my glory hole. Cricket guts now cover the edge of my beanbag, and I am on the brink of vomiting just writing this.