>>76175073No I totally get it. It's one of the darkest pieces I've ever written (I put off the novelization for like two fucking years because writing it was so soul sucking and gross). I get exactly what you mean and it evoked the feelings I was hoping for it. It's supposed to leave a bit of a gross sensation in your stomach.
I don't even intend on writing more chapters of that story either. I'm happy where it ended: in the arms of a mom who loves him so much.
>>76173646>Everyone is acting too soft to be drill sergeants,Yeah, that's the critique I got last time so in the chapter I'm working on, I've dialed it up significantly. It will be out of character though, so if you read chapter 3, please take this in to account.
As for stakes, that's going to be a bit tricky at this stage. I know it's probably already predictable that Botan is going to be Sora's mentor, I'm just trying to get there without rushing since that is a common critique I get. The purpose of the academy is officer basics and to train you into your specialty but since Sora is so fish out of water, it's a bit of a struggle to differentiate it from normal basic. Still trying to iron out the whole thing. Military stories are well outside my purview so I'm trying to draw upon other stories for better story arcs. Any tips of course are definitely welcome, though I regret to inform that Sora will not be molested at any point in the series.
