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Oh huh you're traumatized? huh? From a lack of pussy? I had a girl declare herself as my gf once, just out of the blue because we were in the same project in a class. She just told me she was my girlfriend, I barely even talked to her at all. This was in fuckin university it wasn't like middle school shit. I was trying to hock lobster to stoners for cash and this dumb bitch decided to just show up at my apartment unannounced and lay around on the couch. Some girl I barely knew just showed up at my place and loitered until she got bored I guess. I broke up with her and she said I was autistic. You think you're traumatized? I never went to prom. Every fucking day I dream of what my life would've been like if I wasn't stuck in therapist waiting rooms for most of my early life. I wanted to do plays and be in the theatre club and play in the band, make friends my own age maybe. I got nothing no school friends, even if I would've lost them after highschool at least I would've had memories but no, I don't even have those. You're traumatized? The most vivid part of my childhood memories is a fucking shitty pleather cushion they put in the waiting room I had to sit in, listening to mentally handicapped kids screaming for hours on end. That's my earliest childhood memory, sitting on that shitty couch trying to drown out the noise of hollering troglodytes with an ipod nano preloaded with Bionicle 3: Web of Shadows. I was supposed to find my clique in school, that's what they all said, that I'd find my tribe one day, usually between the ages of about 8-16. Never did, I never even knew if my tribe existed, I still don't. I went through almost my whole life not even knowing if I was a human being in a social sense. Isolated? You think you're isolated? I had never even interreacted with someone my own age who wasn't deeply mentally incapacitated until I went to a cub scout troop where they bullied me relentlessly for being short. I quit before I ever came close to eagle rank. You're traumatized? I've never known enough normalcy or even a veil of normalcy to know if I'm traumatized or not. If this is just how life is normally I'm surprised the suicide rate is so low.
