>>61876060I wish I were like this...
Autistic mentally ill menhera ramblings incoming. So feel free to ignore...
I feel like associating and interacting with FuwaMoco on Twitter has unironically destroyed my gachikoi brain. All I do is think about them and its affected some of my fucking hobbies for some reason.
I've been a gachikoi before, for my old oshi, so long ago... but there was always a degree of separation. I knew for a FACT she didn't know me or my name. I knew for a FACT she didn't see or stalk me on twitter. I was inspired and had delusions of being with her, but the massive wall of separation strangely kept me from feeling depressed. I was just a face in the crowd cheering her on, and I was perfectly happy with that.
The fact that FuwaMoco are so invested in DIRECTLY interacting with us feels like a double-edged sword. The highs are infinitely higher, but the menhera lows are infinitely lower. It's to the point that I'm unironically trying to respond to their posts as fast as fucking possible because I KNOW they'll see them and I KNOW they'll stalk my twitter profile. Same reason I supa and do similar attention-seeking shit, like commenting on membership posts and chatting nonstop.
I feel like I need to take a fucking break from these damn dogs, but I don't want to miss out on any streams cause I'm in too deep. I'll never turn into an anti, btw. I'm not filled with any anger or hate whatsoever... I'm just tired
TLDR: Interacting with fans as directly as they have been is leading to my mental atrophy.
